Satirical Article: Trump Establishes 'Board of Peace' with Absurd Goals and Membership Fees
By
The Onion Staff
A snack-sized bagel for a snack-sized appetite.
Summary
The article is a satirical piece from The Onion about President Donald Trump establishing a 'Board of Peace' with himself as presiding chairman. Presented in a Q&A format, it humorously describes the board's aim as 'ending the impending threat of global cooperation,' its first order of business as stabilizing real estate markets in conflict zones, and membership requiring a $1 billion fee for permanent status. The piece satirizes Trump's approach to international relations and conflict resolution through absurd bureaucratic mechanisms.
Key quotes
· 4 pulledPresident Donald Trump signed the charter for his 'Board of Peace' Thursday, establishing himself as presiding chairman of a new international body aimed at resolving global conflicts.
To finally end the impending threat of global cooperation.
To stabilize real estate markets in conflict-affected areas.
Paying the $1 billion fee for permanent membership and submitting letters of recommendation.
You might also wanna read
Satirical Analysis of Trump's Iran Policy Claims Through Myth vs. Fact Format
The article is a satirical piece from The Onion that humorously examines claims about President Trump's military actions against Iran throug
The Onion·2mo ago
Satirical Piece: Trump Aide Explains Presidential Pardon Limits Regarding Prince Andrew
A satirical article describing a fictional scenario where a Trump aide repeatedly explains to the president that he cannot pardon Prince And
The Onion·3mo ago
Satirical Article: White House Plumber Warns Staff About Trump Commemorative Garbage Disposal Rules
A satirical article about a White House plumber reminding staff that only 'Donald J. Trump Commemorative Food Waste' can be placed down the
The Onion·4mo ago
Satirical Report: Trump Announces 5,000% Increase in All Numbers Nationwide
President Donald Trump announces an executive order mandating a 5,000% increase in all numbers nationwide, claiming this will boost economic
The Onion·6mo ago
Satirical Analysis of Trump White House Renovation Figures
The article satirically examines President Trump's White House renovations through exaggerated statistics and figures, including $500 millio
The Onion·6mo ago
Trump Reports Call With Putin About White House Ballroom Sconce Design
President Donald Trump announces a productive phone call with Russian President Vladimir Putin focused on discussing ballroom sconce design
The Onion·7mo ago