Satirical Article: Fictional Study Claims Nude Kung Fu Practice Indicates Domestic Terrorism Risk
By
The Onion Staff
A good honest bake. Not flashy, but you'll finish the whole bagel.
Summary
A satirical article reports on a fictional Department of Defense study claiming that practicing kung fu naked in front of a mirror is the best indicator of being a domestic terrorist. The study supposedly found this behavior to be a common sign of a disgraced army colonel seeking revenge against the U.S. government.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledOur research determined that performing precision Shaolin kung fu while nude before a living room mirror is one of the most common signs that you are a disgraced army colonel looking to get even with the U.S. government
In a finding that researchers confirmed could greatly assist in identifying potential bad actors, a study released Friday by the Department of Defense concluded that practicing kung fu naked in the mirror was the best indicator of being a domestic terrorist
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