Satirical Article: Biden Expresses Relief About Not Witnessing Trump's Presidency
By
The Onion Staff
A good honest bake. Not flashy, but you'll finish the whole bagel.
Summary
The article presents a satirical piece where former President Joe Biden expresses relief that he is not alive to witness what Donald Trump is doing to the country. Biden states he devoted his life to democratic ideals and is grateful to have passed away before seeing Trump's impact on America's sacred values.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledI devoted my entire life to safeguarding the ideals of democratic freedom and promoting liberty across this great land
I cannot emphasize enough how lucky I am to have left this world before I had to see what Donald Trump has done to our country's most sacred values
Expressing relief about his obliviousness to America's unraveling, former President Joe Biden told reporters Thursday that he was grateful not to be alive to see what Trump was doing to the country
You might also wanna read
Satirical Report: Trump Sons Attempt to Siphon Gasoline from White House Lawn
A satirical piece describing Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. attempting to siphon gasoline from the ground on the White House South Lawn in
Satirical Piece: Trump Sons Dramatically Cut Hair to Avoid Military Draft
The article satirically describes Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump dramatically cutting off their hair with a butter knife to avoid a potenti
Satirical Report: Trump and McConnell Argue Over Location in Oval Office
The article describes a fictional, satirical confrontation between President Donald Trump and Senator Mitch McConnell in the Oval Office, wh
Satirical Account of January 6 Rioter Lost in Capitol Building
A satirical article about a fictional January 6 rioter who remains lost in the U.S. Capitol building, still searching for former Vice Presid
Satirical Piece: Trump Reportedly Frustrated Over Lack of Intact Indiana Infrastructure to Target
The article satirically portrays President Donald Trump as frustrated and searching for infrastructure to destroy in Indiana after state law
Satirical Report: JD Vance Allegedly Upset Over Trump Using 'Piggy' Nickname on Journalist
The article describes a satirical scenario where Vice President JD Vance is reportedly upset and crying in his office bathroom after Preside
