Satirical Article About Extreme Bidet Incident
By
The Onion Staff
The bagel they save for the regulars. Don't skim, savour.
Summary
The article appears to be satirical content from The Onion, America's self-proclaimed 'Finest News Source,' featuring a humorous headline about a bidet causing an extreme injury. The content includes typical Onion elements like weather reports with absurd details ('Visibility two miles, with your glasses'), date references to the future (April 9, 2026), and repeated calls to 'Become A Member. Get The Paper.' The article follows The Onion's signature style of presenting outrageous fictional news stories in a deadpan, journalistic format.
Key quotes
· 5 pulledBecome A Member. Get The Paper.
Visibility two miles, with your glasses
America's Finest News Source
Thursday, April 9, 2026
70°
The post Powerful Bidet Blasts Hole Clean Through Man appeared first on The Onion.
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