Satirical Article About Artemis II Astronaut Incident
By
The Onion Staff
A baker's-dozen of insight crammed into one ring.
Summary
The article appears to be a satirical piece from The Onion, America's Finest News Source, with a fictional headline about an Artemis II astronaut being decapitated by a telephone pole after sticking their head out a window. The content includes typical Onion website elements like weather reports with absurd details (30% chance of Ragnarok), promotional calls to become a member, and standard navigation sections. The article follows The Onion's signature style of presenting outrageous fictional news stories in a deadpan, journalistic format.
Key quotes
· 4 pulledAmerica's Finest News Source
30% chance of Ragnarok
Become A Member. Get The Paper.
Wednesday, April 8, 2026
The post Artemis II Astronaut Decapitated By Telephone Pole After Sticking Head Out Window appeared first on The Onion.
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