Satirical Account of Disinterested Stable Boy Performing Romantic Duties
By
The Onion Staff
Crusty in the right places. Worth the chew.
Summary
A satirical article describes an exhausted stable boy in Gloucestershire who is performing the motions of a romantic encounter with Lady Marietta Ashcroft with complete disinterest and boredom. The stable boy sighs and listlessly undoes her corset while Lady Ashcroft notes his lack of passion, suggesting he's simply going through the motions rather than being genuinely engaged in the romantic scene.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledAudibly sighing as he 'listlessly' undid a corset string by the light of a candle, a sulking, exhausted stable boy was reportedly going through the motions Thursday of tearing open Lady Marietta Ashcroft's bodice.
'At first I thought he was distracted by the nickering horses, or the passionate surging of the thunderstorm, but now it seems he's simply not present at all,' said a sexually frustrated Lady Ashcroft.
The strapping young stable hand had bent her over a hay bale to ravage her with complete disinterest, pausing frequently.
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