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Satirical Account: Jets Stadium Custodian Warns Coach About 'Cursed' Locker Room

By

The Onion Staff

8mo ago· 2 min readen

Summary

A satirical piece about a MetLife Stadium custodian warning new Jets head coach Aaron Glenn about the supposedly cursed locker room that transforms people who enter it. The custodian claims to have seen 'good men walk into that locker room with big dreams only to come out broken' with 'no light in their eyes.'

Key quotes

· 3 pulled
"people who go in that locker room come out…different"
"You be careful in there, Coach—I've seen a lot of good men walk into that locker room with big dreams only to come out broken, no light in their eyes…ghosts of who they once were"
"I've seen a lot of good men walk into that locker room with big dreams only to come out broken"
Snippet from the RSS feed
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Speaking grimly as he mopped the floor beneath flickering fluorescent lights, longtime MetLife Stadium custodian Keith Browning reportedly approached first year New York Jets head coach Aaron Glenn Friday and warned him that “people wh

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