Satire: D.C. Tourist Frustrated by Military Atrocities Interrupting Family Photos
By
The Onion Staff
More flour than flavour. There's a bagel in here, just not much of one.
Summary
A satirical piece about a D.C. tourist named Stan Jacobs who becomes frustrated that military atrocities and violent government actions keep interrupting his attempts to take a perfect family photo in front of Washington landmarks. The article humorously portrays his indifference to the surrounding chaos as he focuses solely on getting a good picture.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"All right, everyone, looking good—just wait two more seconds until all those military guys finish shooting their assault rifles and hop back into their big armored tank"
"say cheese" just as several National Guardsmen, FBI agents, and DHS officers sprinted into the foreground
Emphasizing that he wasn't going to leave the nation's capital without getting one good photograph
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