Satellite Images Capture Intoxicated Father Stockpiling Fireworks
By
The Onion Staff
Crisp on the outside, thoughtful on the inside. A keeper.
Summary
Satellite images capture a father stockpiling fireworks while intoxicated, sparking concern and amusement. The incident unfolds in a humorous yet concerning manner.
Key quotes
· 2 pulled"Sorry, some heat indexes you just want to keep for yourself"
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