RFK Jr. Demonstrates Unconventional Tapeworm Removal Method Using Carpet Friction
By
The Onion Staff
4mo ago· 2 min readen
55/100
Doughy
Bagelometer↗
Good intentions, undercooked execution. The bake is missing.
Score55TypesatireSentimentnegative
Summary
RFK Jr., as Secretary of Health and Human Services, demonstrates an unconventional 'drug-free' method for tapeworm removal by scooting one's buttocks across carpet, claiming it uses natural friction instead of pharmaceutical treatments. The demonstration occurs during a White House press conference where he criticizes 'big pharma' for promoting dangerous medications.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledDoctors won't tell you this, but you don't need medication for a tapeworm—all you need is the natural power of friction
Big pharma will urge you to paralyze the tapeworm with dangerous, addictive
In an address touting the practice as a completely drug-free method to relieve the common affliction
WASHINGTON—In an address touting the practice as a completely drug-free method to relieve the common affliction, Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. demonstrated Thursday how to remove a tapeworm by scooting one’s ass across carpe
