RFK Jr. Claims Condoms Cause Autism in Reported Incident with Mistress
By
The Onion Staff
A snack-sized bagel for a snack-sized appetite.
Summary
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly warned his mistress during an intimate moment that condoms cause autism, claiming 100% of users experience dangerous side effects and that increased autism cases over the last decade can be traced to condom usage. He insisted she wash her hands after touching a packaged condom.
Key quotes
· 2 pulled"All of the increased cases of autism over the last decade can be traced to condom usage—at least from what I’ve been reading"
"100% of users experienced dangerous side effects as a result of wearing the contraceptive device"
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