Pittsburgh Resident Reports Recurring Dreams About Steelers Mascot Steely McBeam
By
The Onion Staff
Soft in all the wrong places. Take with a strong tea.
Summary
A Pittsburgh resident reports having recurring vivid sex dreams about the Pittsburgh Steelers mascot Steely McBeam since the NFL season began. The dreams are described as erotic and ultrarealistic, with the latest episode involving the mascot joining him in the team's shower facilities at Acrisure Stadium. The resident expresses confusion and concern about why these dreams keep happening.
Key quotes
· 4 pulledOh Jesus, I had another weird Steely dream—why does this keep happening?
Acknowledging that the erotic, ultrarealistic episodes had been a frequent occurrence since the NFL season began
his vivid sex dream from the previous evening was once again about Pittsburgh Steelers mascot Steely McBeam
enduring a multipart dream in which the girder-toting character playfully joined him in the team's shower facilities at Acrisure Stadium
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