Pew Research Center Report: Average American's Retirement Plan Tied to Richard Gere
By
The Onion Staff
Pale, doughy, and a touch sad. Eat if peckish.
Summary
The Pew Research Center report reveals that the average American's retirement plan involves Richard Gere falling for them after paying for sex, highlighting a concerning wealth gap.
Key quotes
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Highlighting a growing wealth gap nationwide, the Pew Research Center published a report Wednesday that revealed the average American’s plan for retirement now involves Richard Gere falling for them after paying for sex.
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