Pet Iguana Expresses Disappointment at Still Living in Starter Tank After 8 Years
By
The Onion Staff
Toasted just enough. A reliable bake, gently seasoned.
Summary
A satirical article about an 8-year-old pet iguana named Kermit who expresses disappointment that he hasn't moved out of his 'starter tank' into a larger enclosure as he expected by this point in his life. The iguana reflects on how he assumed the modest habitat with its small plastic rock and budget-friendly heat lamp was just a temporary arrangement, but now finds himself still living in the same limited space years later.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledI just always pictured myself living in a far bigger enclosure at this age
when he was a juvenile he didn't mind being placed in the modest habitat, with its small plastic rock and budget friendly heat lamp, but that he had always figured it would be more of a short-term arrangement
I've grown over the years, and this place has
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