Oregon Man Procrastinates on Growing Pile of Ransom Notes
By
The Onion Staff
Crusty in the right places. Worth the chew.
Summary
A local man in Corvallis, Oregon, complains about the growing pile of ransom notes on his coffee table that he's been procrastinating on for months, preferring to do household chores instead of dealing with the demands for cash payments.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledI've been procrastinating on these for months because I just don't want to deal with them, and now I've got a huge stack
it was always easier to convince myself that mowing the lawn or cleaning the kitchen was more pressing
I could wait until the next day to withdraw 10 grand in cash from the bank
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