All Topics
All Topics
Technology
Technology
Design
Design
Programming
Programming
Science
Science
News
News
Gaming
Gaming
Entertainment
Entertainment
Business
Business
Finance
Finance
Sports
Sports
Health
Health
Food
Food
Travel
Travel
Art
Art
Music
Music
Books
Books
Education
Education
Politics
Politics
Personal
Personal
No algorithm. No AI slop. No ads. Just RSS. Pro-human. Indie writers. Real journalism. Open web. Chronological. Hand toasted.

NFL Report Finds Most Fumbles Recovered Within 48 Hours

By

The Onion Staff

8mo ago· 2 min readen

Summary

The NFL released an internal report stating that the majority of fumbled footballs are recovered within 48 hours, with Commissioner Roger Goodell noting this pattern has held since 1920 and suggesting actual recovery rates might be higher than reported due to referee limitations.

Key quotes

· 2 pulled
"Looking at our history all the way back to 1920, it has thankfully been very rare for our game balls to stay fumbled for longer than two days"
"the number of recovered footballs might actually be much higher than the data suggested, because referees were not allowed to consider"
Snippet from the RSS feed
NEW YORK—In an effort to relieve public concern over the thousands of footballs that go missing every season, an internal report by the National Football League confirmed Friday that the majority of fumbles were recovered within the first 48 hours. “Looki

You might also wanna read

Satirical column criticizes AEW's post-PPV pacing in exaggerated parody of wrestling fan tribalism

A satirical wrestling column (written in-character as "The Chadster") criticizes AEW for immediately reloading its Dynamite and Collision sh

Bleeding Cool·3d ago

Satirical Review: AEW Double or Nothing Draws Mock Outrage from Fictional WWE Fan

A satirical article written from the perspective of "The Chadster," a fictional WWE fan who is outraged that AEW's Double or Nothing pay-per

Bleeding Cool·7d ago

Satirical take: AEW Double or Nothing delivers high-quality wrestling, much to fictional WWE fan's dismay

A satirical article written from the perspective of "The Chadster," a fictional pro-WWE fan who is outraged that AEW's Double or Nothing pay

Bleeding Cool·7d ago

Satirical MLB Article Announces Electronic Bat Boys to Replace Human Workers

A satirical article about MLB announcing the introduction of electronic bat boys to replace human 13-year-olds, claiming the robots can iden

The Onion·9d ago

Satirical Headline Collection: Absurd Fake News Items Including Shai Gilgeous-Alexander Free Throw Foul Attempt

This article is a satirical/humorous collection of absurd and ironic fake news headlines, including a basketball player trying to draw a fou

The Onion·10d ago

Satirical Wrestling Column Mocks Fan Tribalism Over Mick Foley's AEW Appearance

A satirical wrestling article written in the persona of "The Chadster," a self-proclaimed unbiased journalist, who expresses exaggerated out

Bleeding Cool·11d ago