New Zealand Police Recover $19,000 Fabergé Egg Pendant Swallowed by Thief
By
The Onion Staff
Slow-proofed and worth the wait. Worth its weight in flour.
Summary
Police in New Zealand recovered a rare $19,000 Fabergé egg pendant that was swallowed by an alleged thief. The pendant was naturally excreted after six days of around-the-clock monitoring by authorities. The article appears to be a satirical piece with absurd headlines and content that doesn't match the actual news story about the Fabergé egg recovery.
Key quotes
· 5 pulledPolice in New Zealand recovered a rare $19,000 Fabergé egg pendant swallowed by an alleged thief
The pendant exiting his body naturally after six days of around-the-clock monitoring
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