Satire: Harry Styles Tour Merch Reportedly Includes Perimenopause Supplements
By
The Onion Staff
Plain bagel done well. Pleasantly substantive.
Summary
A satirical article reporting that Harry Styles' 2026 "Together, Together" tour merchandise includes perimenopause supplements priced at $65. The spokesperson claims the idea came from Styles himself, with a pun on his song lyrics ("Kiss All The Time, Hot Flash Occasionally" instead of "Watermelon Sugar High"). The piece humorously targets the singer's fanbase demographics and celebrity-branded merchandise trends.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledWe are so pleased to provide concertgoers with an assortment of vitamins, minerals, and herbs that may ease symptoms as they 'Kiss All The Time, Hot Flash Occasionally,'
the idea to sell the $65 dietary supplements to his 'favorite fans' had been personally conceived by the Grammy winner
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