Humorous Tips for First-Time Hikers
By
The Onion Staff
Leave it on the tray for the seagulls.
Summary
The article provides humorous tips for first-time hikers, including practicing in the neighborhood, carrying a note, hiking alone, heading in an upward direction, and dealing with dangerous animals in a funny way.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledBefore heading into the wilderness, practice walking around and getting bored in your neighborhood.
Don’t hike with anyone you’re not willing to eat.
When encountering potentially dangerous animals, spread your wallet open as wide as you can to demonstrate that you are richer than they are.
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