Investigation into Flight Issues Across America Reveals Absurd Causes
By
The Onion Staff
Lightly browned and well buttered. A solid pick from the rack.
Summary
The article humorously explores the root causes of problems facing flights across America, including absurd scenarios in different states like a pilot being frightened off course by a scarecrow and a cowpoke lassoing a plane out of the sky.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled20 mph speed limit while flying over schools
Sure as day, some cowpoke done lassoed the plane right outta the sky and won the heart of one Miss Cindy Mae
God trying to kill Mark Wahlberg again
The post What’s Causing Problems With Flights Across America appeared first on The Onion.
You might also wanna read
Satirical article: Spirit Airlines CEO claims nickel find will fund operations
A satirical article about Spirit Airlines supposedly resuming business operations after its CEO found a nickel on the ground, mocking the ai
Satirical Vacation Rental Advertised as Ideal for Sexual Activities
The article is a satirical piece from The Onion about a vacation rental property that is explicitly marketed as being perfect for sexual act

The Onion's Satirical Top Songs List for May 2026 Parodies News and Modern Life
A satirical article from The Onion presenting a list of absurd, fictional "top songs" for May 2026. The song titles are humorous and surreal
The Onion's Satirical Profile of Kacey Musgraves Pokes Fun at Country Music Tropes
A satirical profile of Kacey Musgraves published by The Onion, humorously covering her new album "Middle Of Nowhere" with absurd details abo

Satirical Headlines Collection Masquerading as News About Starbucks Korea Apology
This article appears to be a satirical/humor piece from what reads like a collection of absurd headlines (e.g., "Mass Grave Not Even That Bi
Satirical article claims Listerine leaves 0.1% of germs alive to terrorize microbial community
This is a satirical news article from The Onion-style publication reporting that Listerine mouthwash deliberately leaves 0.1% of germs alive
