Satirical Onion Piece: Man Tattoos Over Penis After Learning About Its 'Troubling History'
Graham Platner, a man from Cincinnati, explains why he covered his penis with a full-coverage tattoo of a cartoonish, smiling sun. He states that after learning about the troubling history of the unadorned penis — including its use in ancient fertility rituals, its association with patriarchal oppression, and its role in various historical atrocities — he decided to permanently obscure it with body art. The article is a satirical piece from The Onion, using absurd historical claims and deadpan interviews to mock the idea of retroactively "fixing" problematic body parts through cosmetic alteration.
Key quotes
'I just couldn't look at it the same way after I found out what it had been used for,' said Platner, who noted that he had been completely unaware of the organ's dark past until a friend forwarded him an article about it.
'Once I learned about the penis's role in the subjugation of women for thousands of years, I knew I had to do something,' Platner said. 'I couldn't just go on pretending like everything was normal.'
'I'm not saying that everyone who has one of these is a bad person,' Platner said. 'But I do think we need to have a serious conversation about the harm they've caused.'
'It's not like I'm trying to erase history or anything,' Platner said. 'I'm just trying to make sure that future generations don't have to look at this thing and be reminded of all the pain it's caused.'
From the article
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