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Employee's Workplace Fantasy of Impressing Coworkers Described as Pathetic by Office Sources

By

The Onion Staff

3mo ago· 2 min readen

Summary

The article describes an employee named Sarah Cobb at Davidson Analytics who harbors a pathetic fantasy about impressing her coworkers through heroic workplace performance, despite having failed to distinguish herself socially or professionally during her four years at the company. Office sources characterize her imagined scenario as 'cringeworthy' and 'profoundly sad,' highlighting the disconnect between her delusional daydreams and her actual unremarkable performance.

Key quotes

· 4 pulled
Describing the woman's imagined scenario of workplace valor as both 'cringeworthy' and 'profoundly sad'
employee Sarah Cobb's fantasy about impressing her coworkers at Davidson Analytics was unimaginably pathetic
Cobb—who in reality has failed to distinguish herself either socially or through her work in her four years at the local company
harbors a delusional and deeply embarrassing daydream in which her heroic performance during a team meeting finally garners the fawning approval of her previously disinterested coworkers
Snippet from the RSS feed
CHARLOTTE, NC—Describing the woman’s imagined scenario of workplace valor as both “cringeworthy” and “profoundly sad,” office sources confirmed Tuesday that employee Sarah Cobb’s fantasy about impressing her coworkers at Davidson Analytics was unimaginabl

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