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Egyptologist Calls In Sick, Claims Ancient Curse After Opening Canopic Jar

By

The Onion Staff

6mo ago· 2 min readen

Summary

A hungover Egyptologist named Henry Chapman calls in sick to work, claiming he's 'cursed' after opening a canopic jar the previous day. He tells his supervisor he's suffering from what he believes is the divine wrath of Pharaoh Amenhotep III and needs to stay home rather than face a day of indexing artifacts.

Key quotes

· 3 pulled
Listen, I don't know what kind of hex was on that canopic jar I opened yesterday, but I've got a real doozy of a curse, and it's probably best I stay home today
Admitting he was unable to face a lengthy session of indexing artifacts after drinking too much the night before, hungover Egyptologist Henry Chapman confirmed Tuesday he was just gonna call in cursed this morning
Whatever I've got is givi
Snippet from the RSS feed
CAIRO—Admitting he was unable to face a lengthy session of indexing artifacts after drinking too much the night before, hungover Egyptologist Henry Chapman confirmed Tuesday he was just gonna call in cursed this morning. “Listen, I don’t know what kind of

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