Satirical Piece: Father Demands Youth Soccer Coach Bench His Unathletic Son
By
The Onion Staff
Lightly toasted, lightly seasoned, mostly correct.
Summary
A satirical article about a father, David McKenzie, who angrily demands that a youth soccer coach bench his own unathletic 9-year-old son, Josh, claiming the boy doesn't deserve playing time and that he's not paying for his son to start every game. The piece humorously inverts the typical "pushy parent wants more playing time" trope.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledJosh has been on the field for 20 minutes straight now—get him out of there, he's fucking terrible
Calling the blatant display of favoritism unfair to both his child and the other players on the field
he wasn't paying $350 per season for his son to start every game
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