Biologists Report Minimal Evolutionary Change Over Past 24 Hours
By
The Onion Staff
Toasted to a respectable shade. No regrets, no crumbs left.
Summary
Stanford University biologists humorously reported that not much evolution occurred in the past 24 hours, with most species maintaining their genetic characteristics unchanged. The article presents this as a tongue-in-cheek scientific observation about the slow pace of evolutionary change on a daily basis.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledCalling it a 'pretty slow one' as far as natural selection and genetic drift were concerned, biologists from Stanford University confirmed Tuesday that not much evolution happened today.
According to our observations over the past 24 hours, the vast majority of species on earth have pretty much just been holding steady and staying the course, gene-wise.
The heritable characteristics of eastern chipmunks, sensitive ferns, and nearly all other living organisms were pretty much exactly where they were yesterday.
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