Baseball Scout Satirically Encourages Pitcher to Damage Elbow for Better Performance
By
The Onion Staff
The kind of bagel you'd toss to the pigeons.
Summary
A baseball scout tells a pitching prospect that he needs to damage his elbow more to achieve higher velocity and spin rates, satirizing the dangerous culture in baseball that prioritizes performance over player health and safety.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledYou’re clocking high-90s on the radar gun, but you really need to be making that UCL pop more to get the spin rate required to fool hitters
Look at the greats—your deGroms, your [pitchers with injury histories]
Emphasizing the importance of violent, ligament-shredding torque in achieving pro-caliber pitch velocity
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