Bar Patrons Observe Man Watching Obscure Mallet Sport on Phone
By
The Onion Staff
Underproofed. Dense without being substantial.
Summary
Patrons at an Ohio tavern observe a Central European man watching an obscure sport involving mallets and a small leather ball on his phone at full volume for an extended period, speculating he couldn't find the broadcast on regular TV.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledHe's been watching it at full volume on his Samsung Galaxy S8 for, like, an hour now, just totally dialed into whatever sport it is
Speculating that the unnamed individual was unable to find the broadcast on even the most extensive of satellite TV packages
The obscure sport appeared to involve trying to whack a small, leather ball
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