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Kevin Durant Reportedly Reacts with Fear to His Own Bobblehead Doll

By

The Onion Staff

2mo ago· 1 min readen

Summary

NBA star Kevin Durant reportedly had a terrified reaction when encountering a bobblehead doll of himself, screaming in fear and questioning the miniature figurine as if it were a threatening doppelgänger. The article describes the basketball player's panicked response to seeing the novelty item that resembled him.

Key quotes

· 3 pulled
Who…who are—what do you want from me?
Speak, impostor! Why do you have my face? What are your intentions?
Please, just don't hurt me. I-I-I can give you mo
Snippet from the RSS feed
HOUSTON—Paralyzed with fear at the unexpected sight of the miniature figurine, Houston Rockets forward Kevin Durant reportedly screamed in terror Tuesday after unexpectedly coming face-to-face with a bobblehead version of himself. “Who…who are—what do you

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