Americans Struggle with Leftover Holiday Desserts After Overindulgence
By
The Onion Staff
Not artisan, but a perfectly fine bagel. Hits the spot.
Summary
The article satirically describes Americans struggling with leftover Dutch desserts (rijstevlaai and gebakje) after the holidays, with people across the nation complaining about overindulgence and having too much leftover dessert to finish. It uses exaggerated language about millions of Americans moaning and clutching their stomachs while facing tinfoil-wrapped plates of leftover treats.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledWondering aloud about whose idea it was to make so much gebakje in the first place, bloated Americans across the nation confirmed Tuesday that they were still struggling to work their way through all of the leftover rijstevlaai from the holidays.
Don't get me wrong, I usually can't get enough rijstevlaai in December, but we may have overdone it with the nagerecht this time.
echoed the sentiment of over 340 million Americans as they moaned and clutched their stomachs, glancing over at tinfoil-wrapped plates still la
You might also wanna read
Satirical Thanksgiving Leftover Tips from The Onion
The Onion provides satirical advice for repurposing Thanksgiving leftovers, including absurd suggestions like saving leftovers for Christmas
The Onion·6mo ago
Satirical piece mocks poor quality of frozen blackberries as Americans ironically demand more flavorless fruit
A satirical article from The Onion-style publication about Americans ironically begging frozen fruit companies to continue producing giant,
The Onion·10d ago
The Bodega: A Cultural Cornerstone of New York Neighborhoods
The Kid Mero pays tribute to bodegas (corner stores) as vital community hubs in New York and other cities. He describes them as cultural lan
Rolling Stone·12d ago
Satirical Article: Wells Fargo Experts Joke About Investing Tax Refunds in Dream Sandwiches
A satirical article from Wells Fargo "experts" humorously advising taxpayers to invest their tax refunds not in traditional savings or retir
The Onion·13d ago
Finding Community and Grief at Costco: A Personal Essay on Retail as Ritual
A personal essay exploring the author's resistance to and eventual embrace of Costco, framing the warehouse store as a place of community, r
tastecooking.com·24d ago
Satirical Article: McCormick Announces Fictional Transdermal Gravy Patch
A satirical article about McCormick & Co. introducing a fictional "transdermal gravy patch" designed to help people wean themselves off grav
The Onion·1mo ago