Woman Reluctantly Answers Distressed Friend's Call, Using Military Metaphor for Emotional Support
By
The Onion Staff
Yesterday's bagel. Skim it, don't savour it.
Summary
A local woman in Milford, MA, reluctantly answers a phone call from her emotionally unstable friend who is experiencing a crisis after being dumped and stopping her antidepressants. The article uses military metaphor to describe the woman's act of answering the call as 'throwing herself on a grenade' to protect her friend group from the friend's emotional distress.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledWincing at the blast of guttural sobs erupting from the speaker as she picked up, local woman Anna Higgins reportedly threw herself on a grenade Tuesday by answering a phone call from her dysregulated friend.
I'm so sorry, Jennifer—it must be really hard to get dumped so soon after you stopped taking your antidepressants
immediately regretted answering the phone despite it being her turn to act as a human shield between her friend group and the highly unstable woman said to be capable of inflicting severe distress over a wide impact radius with her drama
You might also wanna read
The AI Productivity Paradox: Why Engineers Are More Exhausted Despite AI Tools
The article explores the paradox of AI productivity tools leading to increased exhaustion rather than reduced workload. Written by an AI inf
siddhantkhare.com·1d agoThe AI Productivity Paradox: Why Engineers Are More Exhausted Despite AI Tools
The article explores the paradox of AI productivity tools leading to increased exhaustion rather than reduced workload. Written by an AI inf
siddhantkhare.com·1d ago
The loneliness of high performers: How workplace competence can lead to isolation
This article explores the psychological phenomenon where highly competent and reliable employees in the workplace often experience profound
bolde.com·1d ago
After heartbreak and depression, a teacher finds unexpected belonging in Japan
Laura Pollacco moved to Japan to teach English for two years, but after her contract ended and she returned home, she realized Tokyo offered
businessinsider.com·5d ago:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(946x457:948x459)/Eli-Raphael-050826-1-c37bf946945a414787298d15be83b2c0.jpg)
Eli Raphael Reflects on Her 'Paradoxical Mother' and the Complexity of Loving Someone with Mental Health Struggles
A personal essay by Eli Raphael reflecting on her complex relationship with her mother, whom she describes as a "paradoxical mother" — someo
people.com·21d ago:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(742x464:744x466)/Dr-Jessi-Gold-050826-tout-90204573f2a2469bb6ed6d782cea3a16.jpg)
Psychiatrist Dr. Jessi Gold Opens Up About Struggling to Advocate for Her Own Mental Health
Dr. Jessi Gold, a psychiatrist who helps others with their mental health, opens up about her own struggles with self-advocacy and fear of ju
people.com·23d ago