Woman Defends Boyfriend's Drinking as 'Barely Alcoholic' Compared to Past Partners
By
The Onion Staff
A weekday bagel. Dependable, satisfying, no fuss.
Summary
A woman in Milwaukee defends her boyfriend's drinking habits, claiming he's 'barely an alcoholic' compared to her previous partners. Sara Heston, 32, argues that her boyfriend Dan, who drinks 5-6 beers to fall asleep, is essentially sober relative to her dating history and dismisses concerns from loved ones as lacking perspective.
Key quotes
· 4 pulledDan is essentially sober compared to my previous partners
her boyfriend was barely an alcoholic as far as boyfriends go
Dismissing the concerns of loved ones as seriously lacking in perspective
he always climbs into bed by sunrise
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