Vatican Formally Recognizes Generation Z's First Demon for Digital Torment
By
The Onion Staff
Toasted to a respectable shade. No regrets, no crumbs left.
Summary
The Vatican has formally recognized Generation Z's first demon, Melapheus (known online as DiabolusMel), for his innovative use of digital communications to torment and possess Christian faithful. The 23-year-old demon was granted full demonhood by Pope Leo XIV in a decree that acknowledges his influence in inspiring young sinners to lead lives of infernal debauchery through modern digital means.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledFor his innovative use of digital communications to torment and possess the Christian faithful, Melapheus, better known by his online handle DiabolusMel, is hereby accorded full demonhood
In a milestone many Roman Catholics hope will bring the church into the 21st century, Vatican officials issued a statement Tuesday formally recognizing Generation Z's first demon
countless young sinners had been inspired to lead lives of infernal debauchery thanks to the 23-year-old malevolen
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