U.S. Population Reacts to Lena Dunham News with Panic
By
The Onion Staff
Best dunked in coffee. Better still, swap for a fresh one.
Summary
The U.S. populace reacts by boarding up windows and retreating to cellars after Lena Dunham reenters the news cycle, causing widespread panic.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledDear God, the day has finally come.
Whatever shelf-stable foods they could grab into their children’s arms and rushed to the stables to free the horses, hoping they would have a fighting chance against the emotionally raw, Dunham-centered onslaught.
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