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Satirical Article Depicts Man Treating Surrogate Like a Pet

By

The Onion Staff

23d ago· 2 min readen

Summary

A satirical news article about a man named Justin Landry who treats his human surrogate mother like a pet, spraying her with water and commanding her to stay off the furniture. The piece humorously conflates surrogacy with pet ownership, highlighting absurd behavior through parody.

Key quotes

· 3 pulled
I feel bad, but this couch is expensive, and I don't exactly know where she's been.
Down, down!
I don't want her scratching the fabric with her nails, shedding her long brown hair, or getting blood and amniotic fluid everywhere if she suddenly we
Snippet from the RSS feed
SADDLE RIVER, NJ—Saying “Down, down!” in an assertive voice and repeatedly spraying her with water, local man Justin Landry emphasized to reporters Thursday that his surrogate was not allowed on the furniture. “I feel bad, but this couch is expensive, and

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