Satirical Report: Trump Announces Lara Trump as 'Next Dilbert' Character
By
The Onion Staff
Plain bagel done well. Pleasantly substantive.
Summary
The article satirically reports that President Donald Trump announced he would appoint his daughter-in-law Lara Trump as 'the next Dilbert,' referencing the comic strip character. Trump claimed she would be posted to a Washington, D.C. cubicle from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on weekdays, with Democrats likely objecting to the move. The piece presents this as an absurd political appointment framed as a corporate office role.
Key quotes
· 4 pulledMy daughter-in-law Lara is just fantastic, so we're gonna make her Dilbert from now on
Crazy Democrats will say you can't do that
Lara Trump would be posted indefinitely to a Washington, D.C., cubicle where she would spend every weekday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Pledging to provide her with spectacles, a curled-up tie, and whatever else she needed to do a great job
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