Satirical Report: DHS Watchlist Targets Mothers Driving Cars
By
The Onion Staff
Best dunked in coffee. Better still, swap for a fresh one.
Summary
The Department of Homeland Security has released a satirical watchlist warning Americans about mothers driving cars, describing them as 'the worst of the worst' and advising extreme caution. The advisory claims these women are confirmed to be in possession of dangerous vehicles and cites intelligence from multiple government agencies.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledCirculating a new advisory that highlighted what it called the 'worst of the worst,' the Department of Homeland Security released a watchlist Friday warning Americans about the presence of mothers driving cars.
Please be on the lookout for the following mothers, who are confirmed to be in possession of dangerous vehicles and should be met with extreme caution
the women on the list were known caregivers operating inside the United States and cited intelligence gathered by the Department of Justice, the Federal Bureau of Investigation
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