All Topics
All Topics
Technology
Technology
Design
Design
Programming
Programming
Science
Science
News
News
Gaming
Gaming
Entertainment
Entertainment
Business
Business
Finance
Finance
Sports
Sports
Health
Health
Food
Food
Travel
Travel
Art
Art
Music
Music
Books
Books
Education
Education
Politics
Politics
Personal
Personal
No algorithm. No AI slop. No ads. Just RSS. Pro-human. Indie writers. Real journalism. Open web. Chronological. Hand toasted.

Satirical piece: Drunk God materializes roosters over Pacific Ocean in The Onion parody

By

The Onion Staff

1mo ago· 2 min readen

Summary

A satirical article from The Onion depicts a drunk, profane God Almighty drunkenly materializing dozens of roosters over the Pacific Ocean, cackling as they struggle in the water while showing off to the archangel Gabriel. The piece is absurdist humor with no basis in reality.

Key quotes

· 3 pulled
Yo, Gabriel, check this shit out!
Look at all these fucking birds I got. Can't fly to shore, so what you gonna do?
Come on, look at this shit. Look, they're all splashing and squawking like motherfuckers.
Snippet from the RSS feed
HONOLULU—Cackling wildly as He willed the barnyard fowl into existence, a drunk God Almighty, Supreme Leader of the Universe, reportedly made a few dozen roosters materialize Thursday over a random point in the Pacific Ocean. “Yo, Gabriel, check this shit

You might also wanna read