Satirical Article: Mother Gains Energy from Family's Dinner Enjoyment
By
The Onion Staff
Recycled flavour. You've tasted this bagel before.
Summary
A satirical piece describing a mother who gains supernatural energy and power from her family's enjoyment of the dinner she prepared. The article humorously portrays Christina Nadler's eyes rolling back in her head as she 'feeds' on her family's appreciation of the meal, with her becoming stronger as they request more food items like asparagus and Parker House rolls.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledHer body seizing with energy after hearing the request from her youngest son to pass the asparagus, local mother Christina Nadler's eyes reportedly rolled back in her head Thursday as she fed on her family's enjoyment of the dinner she had prepared.
"Yes, yes, ask for another Parker House roll—it only makes me stronger!" said Nadler, grasping the edges of her chair in order to stabilize herself against the influx of overwhelming power surging into her from the sight of her family appreciating the meal.
"You will eat the lemon-pepper chicken, and I will eat the power that thi
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