Satirical Article Imagines Influential People Locked in Medieval Dungeon
By
The Onion Staff
Slow-proofed and worth the wait. Worth its weight in flour.
Summary
The article appears to be a satirical piece from The Onion, America's self-proclaimed 'Finest News Source,' featuring a fictional scenario where the 'Top 100 Most Influential People' are locked in an oubliette (a dungeon). The content includes typical Onion satirical elements like absurd weather reports ('Visibility two miles, with your glasses'), repeated membership prompts, and a fictional date of April 9, 2026. The piece mocks the concept of influence and status by imagining influential figures rendered powerless in a medieval-style prison.
Key quotes
· 5 pulledAmerica's Finest News Source
Visibility two miles, with your glasses
Thursday, April 9, 2026
Become A Member. Get The Paper.
The Top 100 Most Influential People, Locked In Our Oubliette. Not So Influential Now, Are You?
The post The Top 100 Most Influential People, Locked In Our Oubliette. Not So Influential Now, Are You? appeared first on The Onion.
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