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Collection of Satirical Headlines from The Onion

By

The Onion Staff

23d ago· 4 min readen

Summary

This is a collection of satirical headlines from The Onion, a well-known humor publication. The content includes absurd and comedic headlines such as "Jeffrey Epstein Suicide Note Released" (paired with the punchline "'Erm,' Reports British Novel Protagonist"), "Law & Order: SVU Writer Struggles To Think Up New, Entertaining Rapes," "All Good Baby Names Already Taken By Ninja Turtles," and other humorous, fictional news items. The article is entirely satirical and not meant to be taken as factual reporting.

Key quotes

· 5 pulled
'Erm,' Reports British Novel Protagonist
Law & Order: SVU Writer Struggles To Think Up New, Entertaining Rapes
All Good Baby Names Already Taken By Ninja Turtles
Friend Mysteriously Refuses To Download Venmo
Moat Already Paying For Itself
Snippet from the RSS feed
A purported suicide note found by Jeffrey Epstein’s cellmate after his first suicide attempt in 2019 was released to the public, though the handwritten letter has not been authenticated. What do you think?

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