President Trump Issues Executive Order Reversing Vasectomies Nationwide
By
The Onion Staff
Has the shape of a bagel but none of the steam.
Summary
President Trump issues an executive order reversing vasectomies nationwide to combat low U.S. fertility rates, mandating men to have the procedures undone within 60 days or face imprisonment.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledWe’re requiring all men to head to their doctors and have them undo these terrible, terrible procedures
Go to your urologist, get them to make a small cut—just a little cut on the scrotum—and put all that stuff back
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