Poll Shows Americans View the Undertaker as Top Public Health Threat
By
The Onion Staff
Sat on the counter overnight. Well past its best.
Summary
A Pew Research Center poll reveals that a majority of Americans believe the Undertaker is the greatest threat to public health, with 85% expressing extreme concern about his impact, overshadowing issues like the opioid epidemic.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledMore than 85% of U.S. adults stated they were ‘extremely concerned’ about the negative health impact the Deadman could have on their community.
Survey respondents stated they were far more distressed about negative repercussions of the Undertaker’s chokeslam than they were about the opioid epidemic.
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