Satirical Account of a Meeting with God in the Style of a Political Figure

He called me. I want to be clear about that. I didn't call Him.

I've met with many world leaders—Putin, Kim Jong Un, Jared—and I would say God's in that tier.

People tell me, 'Mr. President, you put the fear of God in God.'

The show! Better than Vegas. Volcanoes lighting up the sky.

And the little fat bellhops—cherubs, they call them—wings too small for the body. Slow with luggage. I didn't tip.