Locust Disappointed by Low Turnout at Organized Swarm Event
By
The Onion Staff
Has the shape of a bagel but none of the steam.
Summary
A desert locust in Ethiopia's Highlands is humiliated after organizing a swarm that only attracted 40 million other locusts, far below his expectations of 1.5 billion attendees. The locust expresses disappointment that the event failed to properly 'blacken the sky' or cause significant famine, with many attendees leaving early.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"Oh man, I thought everyone would be more excited to cause a famine"
"I knew I was pressing my luck by inviting 1.5 billion other locusts to my 'end of summer scourge'"
"Ugh, we've barely blackened the sky! Some of them are leaving early"
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