Lawmakers Satirically Suggest Apology Could Resolve Ghislaine Maxwell's Criminal Charges
By
The Onion Staff
Day-old at best. Try it dunked in something stronger.
Summary
Lawmakers sarcastically suggested to convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell that a simple apology could make all her legal problems disappear, highlighting the absurdity of expecting contrition to resolve serious criminal charges. The article satirizes political theater where officials pretend basic apologies could undo serious crimes.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledAdvising her that even the most basic gesture of contrition would solve all her problems instantly, lawmakers reminded convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell on Monday that a simple 'I'm sorry' could make all this go away.
'We're just asking for two simple words that demonstrate you feel a sense of regret for the harm you caused,' Rep. James Comer (R-KY) told Maxwell after her refusal to testify before the House Oversight Committee.
Saying all that mattered now was that the former Jeffrey Epstein associate acknowledged her misdeeds and made an effort to grow as a person.
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