JD Vance Claims Renée Good Was 'Brainwashed' by Bible Into Loving Neighbor
By
The Onion Staff
More crust than filling. Mostly air.
Summary
Vice President JD Vance claims that Renée Good, a 37-year-old Minneapolis mother, was 'brainwashed' and 'radicalized' by the Bible into loving her neighbor, calling her actions 'indefensible.' Vance's comments were echoed by MAGA voters and GOP lawmakers who blamed the Scriptures for 'poisoning' her mind. The article presents a satirical take on political commentary about religious influence.
Key quotes
· 4 pulledCalling her actions 'indefensible,' Vice President JD Vance stated Thursday that Renée Good was brainwashed by the Bible into loving thy neighbor.
'The fact of the matter is that Renée Good was radicalized by these deranged, left-wing texts,' said Vance.
MAGA voters and GOP lawmakers who emphasized that the blame for her slaying lay squarely on the Scriptures that had 'poisoned' her mind.
'She was obsessed. I don't know who 'Matthew' and 'Mark' are, if those are even their real names.'
You might also wanna read
Episcopal priest urges Protestants to engage with Pope Leo XIV's encyclical on AI and economic power
Pope Leo XIV's first encyclical, "Magnifica Humanitas," identifies artificial intelligence as the defining "new thing" of our age, but exten
religionnews.com·3d ago
Analysis of Pope Leo's encyclical: Examining the Gandalf quote and possible Peter Thiel connection
A satirical investigation into whether Pope Leo XIV's encyclical on AI and technology contains a veiled reference to Peter Thiel through a G
arstechnica.com·5d ago
Pastor denies gold Trump statue is an idol after Miami dedication ceremony
Pastor Mark Burns, Donald Trump's informal spiritual advisor, defends a giant gold statue of Trump named "Don Collosus" dedicated in Doral,
Defector·21d ago
Trump Criticizes Modern Circuses as Not Violent Enough in Truth Social Post
Former President Donald Trump posted a late-night rant on Truth Social complaining that modern circuses are not violent enough, claiming the
The Onion·1mo ago
Satirical Commentary on Social Media's Erosion of Democratic Values
The article appears to be a satirical piece using absurdist headlines and fragmented content to comment on modern society, with a particular
The Onion·1mo ago
Satirical Article: Camp Director Discovers Conversion Therapy Device Set to Reverse
A satirical article about a Christian camp director in Colorado who panics when he discovers his conversion therapy device has been set to '
The Onion·1mo ago