Health Secretary Claims Vaccines No More Effective Than Horseshoe Crab Blood
By
The Onion Staff
Hard to chew. Probably not worth the jaw work.
Summary
Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claims that vaccines are no more effective than drinking horseshoe crab blood straight, based on his research.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledDespite the lofty promises of pharmaceutical companies, there’s simply no evidence to suggest that vaccines provide more immunological benefit than punching a few holes in a horseshoe crab’s carapace and slurping its blood directly.
My own lips were still stained blue from the horseshoe crab blood I had drunk that morning.
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