Friends and Coworkers Coordinate to Emotionally Target Depressed Man at His Lowest Point
By
The Onion Staff
Lightly browned and well buttered. A solid pick from the rack.
Summary
Friends and coworkers in Kalispell, Montana announce coordinated plans to emotionally target depressed man Alberto Rivas at his lowest moments, with colleagues describing their strategy to inflict maximum emotional damage when he feels worst.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledWe're all coordinating with each other to ensure that at the precise moment he thinks he's hit rock bottom, things actually get even worse for him
Presenting a united front in their carefully timed effort, friends and coworkers announced plans Monday to gang up on local depressed man Alberto Rivas right when he felt at his worst
outlined their strategy to crush his spirits at both work and home, inflicting maximum emotional damage on the already weakened
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