All Topics
All Topics
Technology
Technology
Design
Design
Programming
Programming
Science
Science
News
News
Gaming
Gaming
Entertainment
Entertainment
Business
Business
Finance
Finance
Sports
Sports
Health
Health
Food
Food
Travel
Travel
Art
Art
Music
Music
Books
Books
Education
Education
Politics
Politics
Personal
Personal
No algorithm. No AI slop. No ads. Just RSS. Pro-human. Indie writers. Real journalism. Open web. Chronological. Hand toasted.

Collection of Satirical Headlines and Humorous One-Liners

By

The Onion Staff

24d ago· 4 min readen

Summary

A collection of absurd, satirical headlines and one-liners from The Onion-style humor, including items like "All Good Baby Names Already Taken By Ninja Turtles," "Man Who Spent Months On Scheme Heartbroken To Hear It Called 'Harebrained'," and "Busty Friend Pulls Flask, Cocktail Glass, Lawn Chair Out Of Cleavage." The additional context notes a bride and groom's wedding was missed by God because He was watching a Frasier rerun.

Key quotes

· 5 pulled
All Good Baby Names Already Taken By Ninja Turtles
Man Who Spent Months On Scheme Heartbroken To Hear It Called 'Harebrained'
Busty Friend Pulls Flask, Cocktail Glass, Lawn Chair Out Of Cleavage
Faint 'Booyah' Heard From Somewhere
The bride and groom spent Sunday under the impression that they were cementing their union in the eyes of God, who unfortunately was busy watching a Frasier rerun at the time.
Snippet from the RSS feed
The bride and groom spent Sunday under the impression that they were cementing their union in the eyes of God, who unfortunately was busy watching a Frasier rerun at the time.

You might also wanna read