Customer Delays Disarming Gunman Until Barista Can Witness His Heroism
By
The Onion Staff
Lightly toasted, lightly seasoned, mostly correct.
Summary
A satirical article about a coffee shop customer, Angus Helms, who deliberately delays disarming an armed gunman because he wants to ensure the barista is watching and will give him credit for the heroic act. The piece humorously highlights the desire for recognition even in life-threatening situations.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledDammit, she's still got her head down to empty out the cash register for this guy, and if I grab the gun when she's not looking, she'll have no idea I'm the one who did it
Helms reportedly thought to himself as he coughed loudly to get the barista's attention, breaking off his attempt to disarm the man mid-lunge when the barista turned around
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